When each one of my children was ready to start high school, I wanted to impress upon them the importance of words. There is a saying that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. And once people know who you are, it matters how you say what you say, and when and where you say it.
I sat down with each of my children the week before they started ninth grade. We made ourselves comfortable at the kitchen table. This was not meant to be a touchy-feely talk about what may or may not happen. It was a reality check about high school culture. I told them to expect that anything they said could become a rumor in a locker room or fodder for cafeteria gossip. I said that nothing stays a secret in high school. Everything is fair game. I told them that other students might not intend to make trouble, but that words are power and people sometimes grab for power at the expense of others. The best solution was to say to anyone only what could be heard by everyone.
Great advice for us all, right?
Kind of like when I told my kids, don't do anything that would embarrass you if Oprah or your mother to were to see.
ReplyDeleteI like to have my talks with the boys in the car. They can not jump out. Trapped! I find it best to learn not to say much at all. Most folks just want to talk. You make more friends listening than talking.
ReplyDeleteGood advice. Some adults could benefit from it too.
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